How To Write Effective Dialogue For Fiction: Part 1

Darth Vader: “No, I am your father.” 
Jerry Seinfeld: “Not that there’s anything wrong with that.” 
Rick Blaine: “Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine.”
Holden Caulfield: “People are always ruining things for you.”

The dialogue quoted above are perennial quotes that do something more for the characters who said it than simply express information. They create a lasting impression on the reader or viewer on who the character was, embodying both physical, mental and vocal characteristics.

Your job as a writer is to create dialogue that no one in the world could say but your character. It is to find these little sayings that express so much more than the words written on the page. 

But that’s really hard. 

You have to understand your characters at such a deep level that their words are second nature. You know who they are, how they react, and why they react the way they do. 

That’s why... 

Great Dialogue Starts With Characterization. 

When I was a boy I used to stay up at night, playing out conversations in my head, going “then I say, then they say, then I say, then they say,” trying to parse out that perfect word or phrase, to show the world how quick and smooth I was. 

Of course the conversations either didn’t take place or didn’t play out the way I imagined and there’s a mostly simple reason why: I didn’t understand the person I was imitating on the other end of the conversation. 

I made them say what I wanted them to say, not what they would say, because I was only concerned with what I was going to say and what I was going to say was going to be PERFECT. 

But the perfect thing wasn’t what I would say, either. I didn’t understand either side of the conversation. 

I’ve talked before about how you begin to explore true understanding of your character and all those facets of character exploration apply here. 

Understanding your characters is the cornerstone of good novel writing. 

A good plot is nowhere near as essential to a great novel because if you don’t understand your characters, the plot won’t unfold correctly because your character isn’t making decisions that are true to them.

That is, if you make a plot and stick characters into it and not vice versa, your character's actions will reveal the hand of an author in them, because to the reader they won’t feel genuine. 

And the best starting point to understanding your character is simply listing what traits your character has, or what you want them to have. 

A supporting character of mine, in my upcoming novel WHAT WE DO ON WEEKENDS, is neurotic, philosophical, addicted to cocaine, and rambles. 

I was reminded of James Barris from A Scanner Darkly. I went and watched the film and wrote down key pieces of dialogue that I could reconstruct or use as a reference point for my own character.  

I wanted more characters to reference and more quotes, from a variety of sources, because that’s what a character is. He or she is a conglomeration of quotes and ideas all surrounding a relatively central theme. 

I added in quotes from Hunter S. Thompson, Russell Brand, Jack Keruoac, and Holden Caulfield. 

This would form the basis of my understanding of this character and help me understand the unique set of vocabulary this character used, because every character, every person, is a walking dictionary with his or her own unique set of words. 

These words are a window to the type of person they are, the type of upbringing they had, the education level they come equipped with, what their hobbies are, their list of jargon words, their innate desires, their personality, and more. 

And when I did this, I noticed that my immediate perception of the character, and my ability to imagine them in the scene, their hand movements, their physical ticks, their speech patterns, and place in my world, became a whole lot easier. 

The simple act of understanding my fictional character through concrete examples crystallized them in my mind. 

Now that you have a basic understanding of the vocabulary of the character, test out their dialogue in minor scenes. Throw them into an argument in a grocery store with someone who stole the last jug of milk from them. Make them break up with a significant other. Put them into highly emotional scenes and see what words, based on your references, come out. Have them meet their boss to ask for a raise. Challenge them. 

See what you like. Point out words they said that you don’t think they would ever say. Point out words that you thought were pivotal to the character. 

Then finally ask yourself, “What is my character really trying to say here, that they’re not actually saying?” 

We’ll call that the “Third Thing.” 

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Dialogue’s “The Third Thing” 

The third thing—and I’m not sure if this is an actual dialogue term or one that I added to my own unique set of vocabulary—is that thing that a character is getting at, but that they’re not quite saying. 

If we think of it like scripts: character 1 has a script in their head that they’re saying and character 2 has a different script that they’re responding with (because no two humans ever have the same script or goal in a conversation). Now in effective fictional dialogue, there is always this third script, the thing that they’re really talking about. Something over and above the words on the page. 

That’s what I call the third thing. 

Robert McKee has something similar in his book Dialogue: The Art of Verbal Action for Page, Stage, and Screen: the said, the unsaid, and the unsayable (the third thing). 

That is, each character is literally saying something with their words, saying something with the words they’re choosing not to say, and with the words that cannot be said, but are meant (the unsayable). 

This is called subtext and is incredibly important to effective dialogue.

Here’s a great scene from Reservoir Dogs from one of the greatest dialogue writers of all time: Quentin Taratino:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V4sbYy0WdGQ

Mr. Pink refuses to tip. He has a rational argument about why he refuses to tip and that gives us a sense of who the character is from this line. The long winded argument is a mask, but one nobody believes. Simply put, he’s cheap. He might be trying to tell you, without these words (the unsaid) that he doesn’t do what society tells you, that he likes to go against the grain, that he’s an original thinker, but the unsayable, the third thing that the viewer gets from it, is simply that he’s cheap and he’s selfish.

Now, Mr. Pink is a side character, but even side characters have some overall purpose to the plot and each piece of dialogue should be engineered to move towards that plot resolution or fulfillment of the “third thing.” That is, it should advance the plot, the chapter, or the scene. 

If you’ve watched Reservoir Dogs, you’ll know what Mr. Pink has taken the diamonds and tries to make off with them, proving that he is, in fact, cheap and selfish. 

If you were only to focus on creating a true and convincing voice, while keeping in mind “the third thing,” you are likely to write good dialogue. 

But there’s a lot more to good dialogue than just that, which is why I’ll be creating a part 2 in a few weeks. 

But for now, here’s a list of ‘quick tips’ that should help. 

Quick Tips On Writing Effective Dialogue For Fiction

Edit your dialogue by reading out loud. 

Dialogue is meant to be spoken, so while editing, say your dialogue out loud. You’ll hear things you didn’t read in the text.

Cut small talk when writing dialogue.

If you listen to real conversations, you’ll notice that our conversations are full of filler words and small talk. Nobody wants to read these (and my suspicion is that no one wants to live it, either). 

Keep your dialogue brief and impactful.

Unless you’re writing a play, your character is talking to themselves, or the character is talking to the reader, don’t go on long-winded diatribes. Characters generally don’t go on verbal rampages, because other characters will interject or have something to say. 

Short, impactful statements will flow better and be easier to follow. 

Watch Exposition as Speech

If you have a character who comes home from work and the first thing they say to their wife is “How long have we been married, hunny?” and the wife replies, “Oh, it’s been about 22 years. We were married on an island off the coast of North America.” “Right, 2 years after we met in college.” 

That’s exposition as speech—and I hope it hurt as much to read as it hurt to write. 

A word on “said” 

One of the easiest ways to tell someone is a new writer is if they’re writing a synonym for said for every dialogue tag. Dialogue tags are simply there to tell the reader who is talking without distracting the reader. If they’re shouting, make it known by the actions or words of the character, not by putting “he shouts / he yells / he screams!” 

Can you tell who is talking without attribution / dialogue tags?

If you can, leave them out. Again, they’re only a distraction. 

Let your characters talk past each other

One of the most effective tips I’ve ever gotten on dialogue was that your characters should never answer each other’s questions directly.

Compare these: 

Direct: 

“Where did you go?” 

“I went to the store to get eggs.” 
 

Mildly indirect, but better:

“Where did you go?” 

“We were out of eggs.” 

Best:

“Where did you go?” 

“Did you know Barney’s has a special on eggs?” 

“We were supposed to go to yoga.” 

“I bought 12.” 

“Why?” 

“You should see the look on your face.” 

In portions 2 and 3, no question is answered directly. They’re talking past each other, but it feels more real. The first feels robotic and stuffy. Personally, option 3 is also the most fun to write.

And with option 3, you can understand that there’s a third thing going on. There’s character tension, because something is being avoided, something is not being said. 

Add character-only slang.

You should come up with a list of character only slang that specific characters love to use. I’m sure you can think of some that you yourself have. In writing, I use “ostensibly” or “precipice” too much. I know I do that. Those are words personal to my life. They are part of my lexicon. 

What are the words your characters use too much? What stands out from their dictionary or vocabulary? 

Does your character say “darling” too much? Make a list and amp up your characters to give them that little something that sticks out. 

And that’s it for now. 

Check back in a few weeks and I’ll write out part 2 of “how to write effective dialogue.” 

>> Download The Self-Publisher’s 56 Point Editing Checklist: How To Go Straight To Print. <<